Two office workers open a door, their arms full of supplies.
Demon 1: I can't believe we have to share an office.
Demon 2: I can’t believe we have to share a desk!
Both set down supplies which cover the desk.
Demon 1: There isn’t even a window.
Demon 2: What would we do with the window? There’s nothing to see!
Demon 1: Fletcher has an office with a window. How is that fair? I did more extracurricular activities than him.
Demon 2: And my GPA was higher!
Demon 1: It’s all about who you know.
Demon 2: We know all the same people!
The two attempt to settle themselves and their supplies.
Demon 1: That’s my pencil.
Demon 2: No, it’s my pencil! My pencils are all yellow!
Demon 1: All the pencils are yellow.
Demon 2: Well, I remember mine were all perfectly sharpened!
Demon 1: So were mine.
Demon 2: Fine! You take these three and I’ll take the rest!
Tries to separate out the pencils.
Demon 1: Well, now we’re ready to work.
Demon 2: I guess so.
Demon 1: I thought our first job was going to be more interesting.
Demon 2: I thought we were going to be doing something important!
General fidgeting and pencil tapping from Demon 2.
Demon 1: You’re annoying me.
Demon 2: You’re annoying me!
Demon 1: Can you stop tapping your pencil?
Demon 2: I can! But I’m not going to! I am sooooo bored. If I have to sit in this tiny office, elbow to elbow with you everyday for eternity I am going to TAP my pencil!
Small fight breaks out interrupted by the door opening.
Screwtape: Darlings! How is your first day on the job?
Demon 1: Lovely, Uncle Screwtape.
Screwtape: Now now, did I hear some discouraging words floating down the
hallway?
Demons look at each other.
Demon 2: We’re bored!
Demon 1: We thought our entry level jobs were going to be more. . . consequential.
Demon 2: And we don’t even have a window!
Screwtape: You don’t think your jobs are important to the cause?
Demon 1: I’m the junior undersecretary demon in charge of making people hate their hair.
Demon 2: And I’m the lieutenant deputy demon in charge of making people despise seeing themselves in photographs!
Screwtape: And you don’t feel your jobs are important?
Demon 1: Not as important as Fletcher’s.
Demon 2: Or yours, Uncle!
Screwtape: Well now, you two are just starting out. I don’t think you realize the strategic importance of the role you play in undermining human self confidence. It doesn’t matter what kind of hair people have or if they have none at all, humans can be persuaded to all sorts of envy, vanity, and greed where their hair is concerned.
Demon 1: So . . . you want me to give them split ends?
Screwtape: (Sighs). You are sorely lacking in imagination. I want you to systematically destroy any appreciation or enjoyment humans might have in their hair. I want you to suggest over and over and over again that straight hair is better or curly hair is better, that whatever they don’t have is better. I want humans to spend hours and hours and considerable monetary resources but experience nothing but frustration with their hair.
Demon 1: I hear you, but that doesn’t sound especially…evil.
Screwtape: Evil is not just world wars and mass murders! I thought you were paying more attention in school. Evil is also in the small death of a human soul who despises their created self.
Demon 2: How about me, Uncle? Why is my job important?
Screwtape: Well, you have a chance to work in a cutting edge field! Photography is so new in the grand scheme of human history. Humans are now obsessed with taking and sharing images of themselves. The mirror was the last great invention in this regard, but this can be turned to even more evil.
Demon 2: I could make the pictures a little blurry. Or photobomb. I could just . . .
Screwtape: Stop. And you wonder why you don’t have a window! Hating the sight of themselves has nothing to do with the quality of the picture. Self loathing is about comparison and insecurity. You want humans to obsess over their images, to filter and edit and yet never be fully content. Constantly whisper about imperfections and how they looked in the past. Many people who could be doing good in the world can be side tracked indefinitely if we help them focus on their image!
Demon 2: That is amazing! Thank you, Uncle!
Demon 1: Thank you for coming to see us, Uncle.
Screwtape: Make me proud, darlings. Do your worst!
Angel 1: Jesus! We heard it was almost time for you to go to earth! Are you packed yet?
Jesus: Well, I don’t really . . .
Angel 2: (Cutting him off) Perfect! We’re here to help you!
Angel 1: We brought up your suitcase!
Angel 2: I hope it’s big enough for all of your purple robes.
Angel 1: And your golden crown.
Jesus: I’m not taking the robes or the crown.
Angel 1: But . . . . . . . what will you wear?
Jesus: I’m going to be a baby. I won’t wear much!
Angel 2: Without your robes and crown, how will they know you’re a King?
Jesus: They won’t.
Angel 1: (pause) Well, you’ll take your sword, right?
Jesus: Definitely not! What would a baby do with a sword? I’d just hurt myself.
Angel 2: How will you defeat your enemies?
Jesus: Not with a sword.
Angel 1: (pause) This sounds extremely dangerous! What if something happens to you?
Jesus: Mary and Joseph are going to be my parents. They are going to take care of me.
Angel 2: But you’ll take your teddy bear, right?
Jesus: No.
Angel 1: What about your board game collection?
Jesus: Sadly, no.
Angel 2: So, what are you packing?
Jesus: Nothing.
Angel 1: NOTHING?
Jesus: I’m not taking anything. I’m going to be a real baby human.
Angel 2: (pause) Are you sure you and your father don’t want to rethink this plan?
Jesus: I’m sure. Friends, you know, there is something you can do for me. Get as many angels as you can, and go tell some people when I’m born.
Angel 1: We can do that!
Angel 2: Who do you want us to tell?
Angel 1: The King?
Angel 2: The Governor?
Angel 1: The High Priest?
Jesus: No, I want you to tell the shepherds outside Bethlehem. They’ll be awake, looking after their sheep.
Angel 1: (pause) Shepherds? Why shepherds?
Jesus: I want them to know. I want them to be the FIRST to know. And make sure you tell them where to find me–in a stable in Bethlehem. They’ll come and visit and then they’ll tell everyone that needs telling.
Angel 2: No one important is going to listen to a shepherd!
Jesus: Oh, look, it’s time for me to go!
Angel 1: OHHHHH, we’re going to miss you Jesus! (hug)
Angel 2: We’ll stay close to you the whole time you’re on earth. Don’t worry! (hug)
Angel 1: Just call if you need us!
Jesus: Thanks, friends. Goodbye!
(Start with holy family figures set up.)
Angel 1: Come look! Jesus just learned to say “dirt!”
Angel 2: I’m not surprised. He’s eaten enough of it.
Angel 1: He’s grown up so much. It seems like it’s going fast, doesn’t it?
Angel 2: He does a lot more than when he was just a baby. But he’s still so little! How is he ever going to rescue the people of earth toddling around and saying “dttt?”
Angel 1: Jesus is really a human. He’s got to go through all the human parts of growing up.
Angel 2: But he’s also OUR Jesus. Our Prince. Our warrior. Our wise ruler. Our friend.
Angel 1: That is mysterious. How he can be all of those things, and be a human baby.
Angel 2: Look! We’ve got company!
Angel 1: The magi! They followed the star!
(Place 3 king figures by holy family.)
Angel 2: First shepherds came to visit when he was born, and now these kings from far away. Nobodies and outsiders, that’s who comes to honor our Jesus.
Angel 1: And the people who see him every day, the neighbors, the priests in the temple, don’t seem to think he’s anything special.
Angel 2: This plan of God’s looks stranger and stranger.
(Magi present their gifts.)
Angel 1: I’m glad the Magi brought Jesus nice gifts.
Angel 2: Now those are gifts fit for a King! Gold, frankincense and myrrh—that smells wonderful!
Angel 1: They are worshipping him! Let’s sing with them!
The biggest craziest picnic party in the history of the world
(You can use play food and plastic plates for this play.)
Angel 1: There’s Jesus docking his boat!
Angel 2: He looks like he’s been crying.
Angel 1: He just heard that his cousin John was killed. That’s why he went off by himself.
Angel 2: There’s a huge crowd here to meet him already.
Angel 1: What’s he going to do?
Angel 2: Maybe he’ll turn invisible and sneak by them.
Angel 1: Maybe he’ll tell them to stop annoying him and go home.
Angel 2: Oh, he’s talking to them.
Angel 1: There’s a bunch of sick people being brought over to him.
Angel 2: He healed that boy who has never been able to see!
Angel 1: He healed the woman with the disgusting sores.
Angel 2: He healed the man with the broken leg!
Angel 1: Their families are so happy.
Angel 2: It’s amazing what Jesus can do!
(hours later—Angels are sitting or lying down)
Angel 1: How long has Jesus been healing people?
Angel 2: A long time.
Angel 1: I hear tummies rumbling. People are getting hungry.
Angel 2: We’re far away from any towns or restaurants. Where are people going to eat?
Angel 1: The disciples are asking Jesus the same question.
Angel 2: Ha ha! Jesus is telling the disciples to give the people something to eat!
Angel 1: Jesus is being silly! No one carries around that much food.
Angel 2: There must be over 5,000 people here!
Angel 1: Ok, the disciples have found five loaves of bread and two fish.
(kids put play food on a plate—we used a plastic piece of toast and can of sardines)
Angel 2: What is Jesus going to do with so little?
Angel 1: He’s thanking God for it, just like he’d do if he was sitting around the dinner table with his family.
(kids cover the food with their hands as a blessing)
Angel 2: Now the disciples are passing out the bread and fish.
(kids start passing the food around to imaginary guests)
Angel 1: (angels stand up to watch) That family with 12 kids—they all got food!
Angel 2: The people who walked over from Gennesaret, they have been served.
Angel 1: All of John’s disciples are eating bread and fish!
Angel 2: (jumping up and down) The food isn’t running out. THE FOOD IS NOT RUNNING OUT!!
Angel 1: Ha ha ha! This is the biggest craziest picnic party in the history of the world!
Angel 2: This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen Jesus do!
Angel 1: Look! The disciples are all coming back to Jesus, and each of them has a full basket of food!
Angel 2: There is more food left over, than there was at the beginning!
(kids set out 12 plates and fill them up with play food)
Angel 1: People are going to talk about this feast forever!
Angel 2: Jesus really loves the people on earth.
Angel 1: Now that everyone is fed, Jesus is telling them to go home!
Angel 2: And he’s going off by himself to pray.
Angel 1: Let’s go pray with him!
Angel 2: I can’t wait to talk to God about this amazing day.
(enjoy the picture of abundance!)
(For this play you can use a toy boat and a blue piece of fabric. Put the fabric on a table, with the boat on top, and have the kids move the fabric. While the angels are talking, the kids can pretend to be the storm: rock the boat and blow like the wind. )
Angel 1: Windy night.
Angel 2: It was calm when they got in the boat. The storm came up all of a sudden!
Angel 1: Those waves are getting huge!
Angel 2: I hope those fisherman haven’t forgotten how to handle a boat.
Angel 1: Is that Jesus asleep in the front?
Angel 2: I see him. I think he’s drooling on his pillow.
Angel 1: Well, he’s tired. He’s been healing a lot of people.
Angel 2: I love seeing people who are sick get better.
Angel 1: Some of them have been sick a long time. No one could help them until Jesus came to town.
Angel 2: Lots of people have heard about him! The crowds are starting to follow him everywhere.
Angel 1: No wonder he’s worn out.
Angel 2: It’s strange to see Jesus get tired. I never saw him sleep before he became human.
Angel 1: He’s sure sleeping now. I don’t know how anyone could sleep through the boat rocking and the waves splashing.
Angel 2: Now the disciples are waking him up.
Angel 1: They’re scared.
Angel 2: I would be too.
Angel 1: He’s talking to them. Asking them why they are afraid.
Angel 2: It’s hard to trust Jesus in the middle of a storm. When he’s asleep, he looks like he doesn’t care what happens to them.
Angel 1: But he does.
Angel 2: Always.
Jesus: BE STILL!
Angels 1 and 2: Ohhhhhhhhhh!
Angel 2: Everyone in that boat is now really impressed.
Angel 1: They’ve never seen a human tell the wind what to do before.
Angel 2: Of course, the whole world is at his command.
Angel 1: He could make fish jump out of the water and sing a song.
Angel 2: He could tell the stars to dance.
Angel 1: But instead he teaches people about God and heals them when they are sick.
Angel 2: I love Jesus.
Angel 1: Me too.
Everyone comes out to welcome Jesus the King
(Kids take coats, leaves, or blankets to spread on the ground, making a path)
Angel 1: Take your coat off and put it on the ground!
Angel 2: I’m not wearing a coat.
Angel 1: Right. But I don’t want to miss the fun! Get a palm branch then, and put it down so Jesus can walk on it!
Angel 2: Here’s one (adds to the path).
Angel 1: The Passover feast is this week. It’s the perfect time to come to Jerusalem and celebrate.
Angel 2: Everyone is so excited to see Jesus!
Angel 1: This is the kind of welcome he deserves.
Angel 2: Here he comes, riding on a donkey.
Angel 1: I think riding on a dragon would be more impressive. Why didn’t he send the disciples to find him a dragon?
Angel 2: I think that might be too scary.
Angel 1: But the donkey he’s riding isn’t very impressive.
Angel 2: “Save us,” the people are saying.
(“Save us” the kids say.)
Angel 1: Well, he has healed them, taught them, fed them, and prayed for them, maybe saving them is next?
Angel 2: Should I go get his robe and crown? Maybe he’ll need them if they make him King.
Angel 1: Let’s wait until he sends us to get them.
Angel 2: We’ll be ready!
(Kids shout “Save us,” and put down more coats.)